Frustrated

It's very disheartening when my husband complains about me saying "i hurt" all the time when he touches me. Over the last three months since I have started taking savella I have been more active and with less pain than I can remember in the last ten years or so. I have ridden my new bike several times, worked out, kept up with house work and laundry, increased our sex by triple! Does it mean I never have pain anymore or will never have pain again? Absolutely not. I still have pain every day but now I am able to function and not be disabled by pain. I have taken such massive steps forward that's its frustrating to hear this yet again on the ONE day so far this month I've said anything about hurting. I'm stressed about Samantha, haven't slept well all week, stressing about our Magnet appraises next week and been dealing with crazy shit at work with the computers down. And to make things 100% worse he is turning Samantha away from TLC because he's mad at me!! She wanted to give him Eskimo kisses before bed and its a good step because she's been cranky most of the day since being at the dr for blood draws and such and he pushed her away and said "no I hurt". Ohhhh!! I could have PUNCHED HIS LIGHTS OUT! Just because in don't enjoy him touching my nipples constantly when we are not in the throws of sex doesn't mean I hurt or that I never want him to do that. My nipples are very sensitive since breast feeding. Well since forever actually and it's very frustrating for him to get ANGRY at me about not wanting him to do that. Kind of ridiculous actually. I don't do things that make him uncomfortable just because I want to do them but he insists on randomly grabbing or rubbing my nipples every day! Ugh! Why can't he just understand what it feels like? Not that I wish pain on anyone, and I of ALL people know how annoying it is to hear it over and over again but put himself in MY shows and actually be the one in pain and see how he'd feel about being so passive and sometimes cruel about "I hurt". That's all my raving for now. 

Samantha has got something going on. Really broke down today because Dr said to take her across the river to cardinal Glenon for IVF. :( then we took her to dr and she got blood drawn, popped in her jar or rather diaper that I dug  out and filled the jars with. Nastiest thing ever!!!! Hopefully we will hear something before the weekend start sz fingers crossed. Maybe we will have a long journey with her health ahead if us which is why God has chosen to have us wait in our baby making. Just a thought. 

Goodnight.